Confessions of a Butcher

You know some days I just feel like grabbing a Big Mac or two and calling it good. That wouldn’t give me much to write about though. I know I only have to come up with one meal every other week for this column but before I started writing for the Standard Journal I had already handed over the reigns to the kitchen to my wife. The first few years we were married I didn’t dare let her in the kitchen unsupervised. But over the years she has become rather handy in there and the smoke alarm doesn’t go off nearly as often. During the early years the smoke alarm was like the dinner bell. When it would go off I knew it was time to wash up.

Actually before I began writing for the paper I only had a handful of recipes that I called my own. Most of them were of the easy and quick to make variety from my bachelor days. I actually got pretty good at just throwing something together using prepared foods from the store. I was never a Hamburger Helper guy but with a box of macaroni and cheese I could get quite creative.

I don’t know how many of you turn your noses up at the thought of making something using a cheap box of macaroni as a base but when I was young and single it was a life saver. Not only can you make a whole slew of different dishes with the macaroni and cheese mix but it is so cheap. I use to get ten boxes, or something like that, for a dollar. I don’t know what they are now but I know if you watch the ads they are still a good value. Now hold it. I know what you’re thinking. Who cares, right?

Even if you are not on a strict budget or you are some kind of whiz in the kitchen you shouldn’t turn your nose up to what I’m about to share with you.

Let’s say you come home from a hard day of shopping and you got to get something on the table before the gang gets home and they realize that you’ve been dogging it. Grab a couple of boxes of macaroni and cheese follow the quick and easy directions and then add a can of chili. There you have it, a nice chili mac casserole. Throw a little cheese on top open up and heat a can of corn and if you have time mix up one of those jiffy corn meal mixes and throw that in the oven and the family will think you’ve been hard at it all day.

Another of my favorite dishes with the macaroni and cheese base is what I call beef mac with broccoli. Just whip up a couple of the macaroni boxes and set to one side, cut some cheap beef (rump roast on sale) into very thin strips and steam some small broccoli heads. Take the cheap beef strips and fry very quickly in a hot pan and then fold into the macaroni and cheese and then very carefully fold in the tender broccoli. You can grate a little cheddar cheese on top for show and there you have it a cheap and easy dish.

You can make a poor man’s beef stroganoff with the macaroni and cheese as a base that is actually pretty good. Just brown off some hamburger and add to your macaroni and cheese with a can of mushroom soup and a dollop or two of sour cream. It will look like hamburger helper but I like it a lot better.

There is just no end to what a person can do with a box of macaroni and cheese and a little imagination. I remember one time I went to a church singles potluck and I saw so many different variations of macaroni and cheese casseroles that I thought it was some kind of contest. The old standard “tuna mac” where you throw a can of tuna into the mac and cheese with a can of mushroom soup, grate some cheddar cheese on top with crushed potato chips was well represented. You can’t beat that one. Every young husband needs to have a tuna mac casserole sittin on the table when he gets home from a hard day at work once in a while. That way he will appreciate the good years that follow, once his sweet wife has mastered the art of smoke free cooking. I know that I do.

Ever have one of those days? Well I have. In fact just the other day was one of those days. I had two nice chunks of flatiron roast in the crock pot getting tender. I was going to make some of my favorite beef enchiladas and then share the experience with all of you. Didn’t happen. I had to go to a meeting that I knew nothing about.

So there I was with several pounds of nice lean and tender beef all ready to be shredded for enchiladas with only a half hour to eat and throw on my suit and go. So we made burritos. They were good but it just wasn’t the same.

Have you ever gone to take a bite of something delicious and have half of it fall on the floor just as you were putting it in your mouth? Do you know that sense of loss that you feel as you chew on a half bite instead of the anticipated whole bite? Well that’s how I felt as I was woofing down a couple of those hastily thrown together burritos. I haven’t felt a sense of loss this strong since the time I dropped half of my cheeseburger on the floor at a hamburger joint in Portland over thirty years ago. I was starving at the time and I spent my last couple of bucks on this big beautiful cheeseburger. The counter girl handed me my burger on one of those flimsy little paper plates and half the burger fell to the floor as I was heading to my table. I was devastated.

Not to worry though. The flatiron is what I really wanted to talk about anyway. Even though I didn’t get to make the enchiladas like I had wanted I still was able to fix the flatirons like a pot roast minus the potatoes and carrots which is what I have wanted to do for some time now. I have used the flatiron in just about every application that I could think of, at this point anyhow, except as a pot roast or for enchiladas. So thanks to some kind of Divine Intervention or maybe just bad timing a pot roast is what my flatirons had become.

The flatiron is probably the most underrated cut of beef on the planet. It is also one of the most versatile. The restaurants are starting to catch on to the flatiron and their extraordinary qualities but for the most part people don’t seem to know much about them.

The flatiron can be used as an oven or pot roast, cut into steaks for Swissing or for the grill. They can be used in place of top round London broil with very good results. Just grill them like you would the London broil and slice thin across the grain. They will be more tender and a lot more juicy and flavorful. They just won’t be as pretty as the top round London broil. That is the main problem with the flatiron and the reason they haven’t really caught on which keeps the price down for those of us that don’t mind their humble appearance.

You see the flatiron has what appears to be an unsightly seam of gristle that runs right down the middle of it. It is actually just a seam of gelatin. If it bothers you simply cut it out. As far as I’m concerned it is not an issue. I take the small end where the seam is fine and slice several half inch slices which I fry very quickly in a hot pan for the best steak sandwiches this side of Philadelphia. They are so tender and juicy they literally melt in your mouth. I also sliced some up into thin strips and made a very nice batch of beef stroganoff which we served over rice; outstanding.

Since they haven’t caught on as yet they remain a good value. The flatiron is nothing more than this floppy hunk of meat on the side of the boneless cross rib. When cross rib roasts are on sale the butcher will have a bunch of them which he will use to make country style ribs or stew meat or maybe just put out in the case as cross rib roasts. Just ask him to show you which one is the flatiron. If he hasn’t any out in his case ask if you can get one or two at the same price as the cross rib roast. Shouldn’t be a problem. Then just let your imagination take over and discover just how good they can be.